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"My daughter and her lover are coming to spend the holidays — where do they sleep?"

My daughter and her lover are coming from South Carolina to spend the holidays with my husband and me. Do I put unmarried lesbians in separate rooms when they come to visit?

My first instinct is to recommend that you treat your daughter and her partner (that is to say, unmarried gay partners) the same way you would treat unmarried heterosexual overnight visitors. If you don’t want unmarried couples to sleep together under your roof, that’s your prerogative and those are your morals. But don’t set household policy based on sexual orientation. That’s discrimination.

However, there’s another dimension in this case. Your daughter and her partner are not allowed to legally wed in South Carolina (and most other states). So, if they are a committed couple in every other way, don’t hold this technicality against them. I’d say it’s a shared room and bed for them.

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Gay MannersConfused about coming out, dating, sex, and love? Find all the answers here - makes a great reference guide for you, and a great gift for the straight people in your life who need a little guidance.

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