“I think my kid is gay; can I ask him?”

“I think my kid is gay; can I ask him?”

Believe me when I say this is a great message for all young people to hear. As an example, my mom often invited a gay colleague of hers to dinner when I was a teen—and before I was out. And when I was ready to talk, Dr. Scrivener became a mentor. You could even discuss some of the LGBT characters or actors on TV and make it clear that you support diversity of all kinds.

Asking open-ended questions may be a way to build up to a conversation, but you don’t want to pressure your child in any way. Rely on vague questions like “Is there anything that you’d like to discuss with me that we haven’t talked about?” or “I see you have some new friends. What are they like?”

Finally, consider attending some PFLAG meetings yourself so that you become more aware of LGBT issues in general, and in particular of how to help your son or daughter should she or he decide to come out to you. I wouldn’t tell your child you’re doing this, however.