What's a bi guy to do when gay folks shun him?

My favorite restaurants haven’t changed since I became bisexual and stopped seeing men exclusively, but eating at those places is a lot less fun. Gay guys around my neighborhood look at me funny when I’m out with a woman. Please don’t tell me moving away from my beloved San Francisco is the only way to be comfortable in public again.

No, but you may need to stop going to all-gay restaurants (and by that I mean eateries frequented primarily by same-sex couples). As much as homophobia is a problem in this country, along the same lines (ok, not as much) there are strains of heterophobia in the LGBT community. Never heard of homophobia’s first cousin, heterophobia? It’s a term used to describe irrational fear of, aversion to, or discrimination against heterosexuals. If you and your girlfriend are the only opposite sex pair in a restaurant or club, not only will you appear as outsiders, but in some way you may be perceived as social trespassers or just made to feel unwelcome.

Years ago, I went into a gay club in New York with a straight woman friend. When I ordered, the bartender instead of serving us, actually asked us to leave. Even when I told him that I was gay, he reiterated his request. Times have changed somewhat, and our communities tend to mix more comfortably now. But my point is that heterophobia is as misplaced as homophobia, if less prevalent and without such serious consequences.