Dating & Sex
Gay dating and gay sex are a lot like their straight varieties – only different and perhaps a wee
bit more complicated. Gay dating can be for fun, for companionship, for sex, for trying out a
relationship, or a bit of each. If there are differences between gay and straight dating, they
stem from the fact that some of us grew up in the closet, awkwardly coming of age in a
sometimes-hostile world. If this sounds like you, your first relationships were likely clandestine
affairs. Others of us started dating as straight—and may still be trying to decipher the rules and
rituals of same-sex dating. A word to the wise: This section will be frank, as it deals with real-life
sexual situations from back rooms to bedrooms, so it’s not for the prudish (or the under age).
Regardless of where you start, the road to a successful dating life depends on knowing what
you want. Once youíve got that figured out (easier said than done), you're ready to brush up on
the basic strategies for finding an LGBT date in the first place and then comfortably negotiate
everything that follows—whether it's okay to Google a new prospect beforehand, the rules for
nonmonogamous dating, or how to go out with others while still living with your ex.
And sex? well, sex is always fraught with issues. Initiating sex with a new partner, negotiating
the sexual rules of a relationship, practicing safe sex—they all involve a delicate dance of give and take, back and forth. In this section of the site, you'll find the steps of that dance: Finding a date, asking someone out, how to respond when someone asks you out, handling sexual
overtures, anonymous sex, breaking up—it's all here.
Sex can be a part of dating, or not. For some people at some times, sex can be all there is to
dating. Some people prefer to let a relationship develop before they become intimate; others
want to test sexual compatibility before they get invested in an emotional relationship. Do what
feels right for you. But how you initiate sex with a new partner—whether you're straight, gay,
lesbian, bisexual, or transgender—can be a real test of your manners. Even an anonymous hook-up doesn't need to be boorish, and how you behave when it comes to sex could mean the difference between a one-night stand and a chance for a longer relationship (or at least another date).
Sexual manners could fill a book (they fill a lot of pages in mine), but know that sexual
situations still follow the same basic rules that all questions of etiquette do. Be respectful,
honest, and kind—even if you're kinky and wild! A word to the wise: This section of the site is
frank, as it deals with real-life sexual situations from back rooms to bedrooms.
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“I’m glad we
chose your place.”
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