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All About Dating & Sex

"She had her hands all over but, but I wasn't interested."

After drinking for several hours with this leather dyke at the neighborhood gay bar, we walked back to my place, and I invited her to join me for a smoke on the front porch. Two minutes later, she was leaning in for a big, wet kiss, which I barely avoided. My reaction upset her. Is there a right way to turn down an unwelcome advance?

It sounds as though you did a good enough job, which is to turn the other cheek, so to speak.

But I can understand why your date was confused. She’s probably thinking: “How did I wind up on this girl’s front porch, after an evening out drinking, sitting close, and not expect a little smooch?” That’s how that story usually ends.

It would have been better for you to curb her enthusiasm earlier in the evening, by not being so flirtatious or drinking so much. Not that your leather friend should ever, under any circumstances, assume she is entitled to any particular ending.

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Gay MannersConfused about coming out, dating, sex, and love? Find all the answers here - makes a great reference guide for you, and a great gift for the straight people in your life who need a little guidance.

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