"Everyone else lies in their online profiles."

How much leeway do I have in describing myself in my online profile? I noticed everyone else seems to stray from the truth.

You’re right about that: A Michigan State University study found that 90 percent of people lie in their dating profile. The most common fibs? Guys exaggerate their height and women lose five pounds. Needless to say, it’s a bad idea to start a search for a relationship with a falsehood, if only because the time will come when you need to tell the truth.

I know many of us want to shave off a year or more, sometimes for vanity, sometimes to stay within arbitrary search parameters—really, if you’re just thirty-six, it seems unfair that you’re left out of results of someone looking for a guy twenty-five to thirty-five. But the fact is if you start with this deception, your date may wonder what else you’ve been less than honest about. (By the way, you can always say in your profile: “Look early thirties.”)

There are several ways to get around having to be completely honest about something that makes you self-conscious, such as your weight. For instance, you can say in your profile—or while messaging with others—that you’re “height and weight proportionate.” Some sites also allow you to choose a body type, slim, athletic, or stocky, although everyone knows anyone’s choice is somewhat open to interpretation.

By the way, the rules are different if you’re seeking a sex hookup—in that case, it matters less how old you really are and more how old you actually look. In addition, if you do meet up, there’ll be other things on the agenda than whether you resemble your true age."