Prop 8 and my marriage

How do I explain to my conservative family that I have always considered my same-sex partner to be my husband—even when California's voters passed Prop 8 denying us our right to marriage—and now that the court has declared that ban unconstitutional? They seem to think that the ups and downs of the law determine how they should treat us as a couple.

This is a perfect example of how manners and mores trump the legal system. The fact that a legislature or state referendum has denied you the right to marry should have no effect whatsoever on the romantic partnership itself, nor on your family's acceptance and inclusion of your husband. And while Judge Vaughn Walker's ruling that declared Prop 8 unconstitutional is great news for the gay rights movement, it really shouldn't take a judge's word for your family to treat your husband like any other spouse. Still, the good judge has a way with words and it will be a long time before they are forgotten:

Proposition 8 fails to advance any rational basis in singling out gay men and lesbians for denial of a marriage license. Indeed the evidence shows Proposition 8 does nothing more than enshrine in the California constitution the notion that opposite sex couples are superior to same sex couples.