Is civil disobedience in the fight for same-sex marriage bad manners?

After the recent election in Maine, where 53 percent of voters revoked the right of gays and lesbians to marry, I’ve got to say I’m tired of these post-election blues. I’m tired of our right to marry being an electoral issue. I’m tired of the tyranny of the majority. I’m old enough to remember the civil disobedience that ACT UP staged during the height of the HIV/AIDS epidemic and how effective that was in creating change.

First, let me say that you’re not alone in feeling outrage at what happened at the polls for the second November in a row (Californians revoked the rights of LGBT people to marry just a year ago). Many activists in our community are stymied by these results, in part because of the overwhelming influence and dollars from the Catholic Church and, in this latest voting, from the National Organization for Marriage.

A former ACT UP leader recently told me, “Civil disobedience is the missing piece of activism in our portfolio these days.” And he should know as one who protested vehemently against drug companies when they were price-gouging patients with HIV/AIDS here and overseas during the 1980s and ‘90s.

But the truth is that the very nature of civil disobedience is its high code of conduct, as per the 1849 essay by Henry David Thoreau that is now commonly called “Civil Disobedience” but was originally titled “Resistance to Government.” Indeed, breaking the law for a noble cause, while illegal, is not immoral, unethical nor bad manners. What is problematic is violence of any kind (such as the murder of that abortion doctor in Kansas earlier this year by a pro-life activist) as well as attempts to curb free speech (like the Catholic Church does, along with the Rush Limbaughs of the world).

What is important about civil disobedience is that it’s an opportunity to present arguments and persuade people who disagree with you that you’re right, in this case the right for LGBT people to marry. Sometimes it takes actions like this to “help” others hear and understand.