"How do I come out at work (and keep my job)?"

I’ve worked at a fairly conservative firm for years and have always brought opposite-sex “dates” to parties. But now that I am partnered with a wonderful woman I’d like to come out, but how?

Congratulations on your new romance. Having a significant other is often the impetus for people to come out at work because being in a couple makes the issue seem more concrete — at least to your colleagues — and there are more ways to bring the subject up. You don’t even have to say, “I’m a lesbian,” for instance, because it will be clear that she’s your girlfriend if you introduce her as such.

But first, consider the pros and cons of coming out at work. Let’s start with the pros:

• You won’t have the stress of living in the closet or worrying about switching pronouns at the last moment any more.

• You can talk openly about your relationship.

• You may make deeper friendships by being honest with your coworkers.

On the other side:

• You may lose your job or otherwise be discriminated against (i.e., run up against the pink ceiling).

• Your colleagues may not accept you in the way that you hope, and that could hinder your work performance.

• You may find that LGBT partners are not treated the same as heterosexual spouses.

Before making a final decision, find out whether your company has a nondiscrimination policy that includes sexual orientation and gender identity. See if there is an LGBT affinity group in your workplace that can provide you with guidance and support. Still, I’m in no way trying to dissuade you from coming out— in fact just the opposite — but do your due diligence.