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All About Dating & Sex

Am I a Facebook stalker?

I connected with this really nice guy on Facebook and have been perusing his profile ever since. We’re actually going to meet for coffee—as our first date. So am I allowed to “know” as much as I do about him? I don’t want to creep him out.

Unless your new friend has signed up for an app that reveals who’s been reading his page, ignorance is bliss. But your instincts are good: People don’t always like the idea of new friends or beaus knowing all about them. In fact, when the two of you get together, try to pretend you don't know what you do. Don’t bring up out of the blue his entire work history (yes, that’s creepy) and avoid comments like "So, I saw you and Mike broke up on Facebook..." But if you both love Lady Gaga or volunteer at the local LGBT center, it’s fine–and actually very helpful–to talk about what you have in common to break the ice and discover what else you may share.

Online relationships are just like offline ones. Peeling back the layers of someone’s life and personality should happen in a gradual way, as you build up trust. And hearing someone describe his life in his own words is a great way to get to know someone. It’s entirely possible that your new friend would rather tell you himself about his beloved pets and what he wore for Halloween last year.

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Gay MannersConfused about coming out, dating, sex, and love? Find all the answers here - makes a great reference guide for you, and a great gift for the straight people in your life who need a little guidance.

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