10-07-09
The first question you may be asking yourself is this: What makes him worthy of handing out manners and etiquette advice? Allow me to present my credentials:
Like Amy Vanderbilt and Judith Martin (aka “Miss Manners”) before me, I started off as a journalist (in my case, it was at The Wall Street Journal), and like Emily Post of Etiquette fame, I left a philandering husband in order to make a living giving advice (OK, he wasn’t my husband).
Then in 1995 I wrote a popular little book called The Essential Book of Gay Manners and Etiquette (HarperCollins), which was based on interviews with all sorts of folks (many LGBT, others not): lawyers, doctors, psychologists, accountants, personal trainers, wedding planners—and lots of “real” people, like you. I was also Genre magazine’s “Manners” columnist for several years and these days cover such matters for the Huffington Post, Out.com and nearly two dozen LGBT newspapers (and their sites) in the U.S., Canada, and overseas.
More to the point, I’m about to finish an entirely new book of LGBT manners and mores (tentatively titled: Steven Petrow’s Complete Gay & Lesbian Manners). It marries Emily Post’s encyclopedic approach and Miss Manners’ famous wit (minus the holier-than-thou proselytizing)—but with a whole new world of subject matter that neither lady might even have dreamed up.
What sets apart my new book from my 1995 gay manners primer is not just that a lot has changed since then, but that this time I’m speaking to all members of our community—not just gay men but also lesbians, bisexuals and transgender folks—plus straight friends and allies, too.
This site does that too. Let me tell you about some of the highlights:
At the top, we’ve got Queeries, the basic Q&As that are my replies to the questions you send in. As you’ll see, they range all the way from bedroom behavior to dinner party proprieties. Recent Queeries include: Do I have to call myself “gay” or “bi” even if I don’t like labels? Does bad sex doom a relationship? And, How to address an invitation to a gay or lesbian couple? Send me your queeries.
Next, you’ll find What You Need to Know, the top 10 favorite “Queeries,” addressing questions such as: To out or not to out? Why does my boyfriend want me to take the HIV test? And, How to deal with the question, ‘Where did your kids come from?’ Check them out when you have time.
And while you’re getting acquainted, please take our Poll and sign up for the newsletter to get regular email updates on coming out, dating, sex, planning a same-sex wedding, having kids (the LGBT way) and much more.
Welcome! I hope you’ll be in touch with me… and with each other.
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