http://www.gayandlesbianmanners.com/index.php/stevenblog/ en ianmcook@gmail.com Copyright 2010 2010-07-29T18:16:37+00:00 http://www.gayandlesbianmanners.com/index.php/site/how_to_divide_the_booze_bill_for_summer_shares/ http://www.gayandlesbianmanners.com/index.php/site/how_to_divide_the_booze_bill_for_summer_shares/#When:18:16:37Z Some of my summer share housemates really knock it back and I hardly drink at all. But everyone is expected to pay for the house alcohol. Is this fair?Check out the column I posted on LOGO's 365gay.com about navigating this classic LGBT summertime money drama...and let me know your take! http://www.365gay.com/news/ask-the-expert-how-to-divide-the-booze-bill-in-summer-shares/ 2010-07-29T18:16:37+00:00 http://www.gayandlesbianmanners.com/index.php/site/what_more_can_i_do_for_pride/ http://www.gayandlesbianmanners.com/index.php/site/what_more_can_i_do_for_pride/#When:18:26:23Z It’s true that the need for volunteers is great. LGBT organizations of all kinds are struggling these days, like most nonprofits, and if you’re up for some activism, there are plenty of issues to tackle. Not to mention the benefits to you. Volunteering exposes you to new experiences, and don’t be surprised if you find new friends – or even dates.I've been a guest expert this month on LOGO's 365gay.com about the ins and outs, not to mention the manners, of pride. Let me know what you're planning to do for pride -- and for our community. Q: I love my city’s gay Pride march and festivities and I will also never tire of dancing all night with hordes of sweaty men at the various parties. But lately I’m wondering if there’s something more I could be doing for the LGBT community than having a good time. Not just because gay pride is supposed to commemorate the Stonewall riots, but because I know there is probably lots to do organizing events and fighting for our rights. What do you suggest I could be doing on gay Pride that’s actually helpful? A: Indeed, there’s a lot going on during gay Pride besides partying, and there’s certainly no reason you can’t have a good time and help out, too... Continue reading about how gay pride is 365 days a year -- not just one weekend. 2010-06-18T18:26:23+00:00 http://www.gayandlesbianmanners.com/index.php/site/what_do_you_say_when_a_friend_comes_out_to_you/ http://www.gayandlesbianmanners.com/index.php/site/what_do_you_say_when_a_friend_comes_out_to_you/#When:14:01:19Z Q: I’m straight but I have some gay friends, and twice now people I’m close to have chosen me to be the one they tell first. I get tongue tied, not sure how to be helpful or what they want me to say. Any suggestions?Q: I’m straight but I have some gay friends, and twice now people I’m close to have chosen me to be the one they tell first. I get tongue tied, not sure how to be helpful or what they want me to say. Any suggestions? A: Well, I’m going to guess that you’re a trustworthy and supportive sort of person if friends are singling you out to be the recipient of this news. Not to mention the fact that you’re so concerned about your response. I still remember the first straight friend I came out to. I fretted, stammered and finally blurted out those two little words, “I’m gay.” My friend, who hardly seemed surprised by this revelation, just gave me a big hug and thanked me for trusting her and told me I could talk as much or as little as I wanted about my sexuality in the days to come. Click here for the rest of my answer: http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/life/straight-talk-what-do-you-say-when-a-friend-comes-out-to-you-1266918/ If you have a question for me, send it to queeries@live.com. 2010-04-08T14:01:19+00:00 http://www.gayandlesbianmanners.com/index.php/site/cracking_open_the_transgender_closet_door/ http://www.gayandlesbianmanners.com/index.php/site/cracking_open_the_transgender_closet_door/#When:19:28:58Z This is my Huffington Post piece on the powerful CNN documentary, “Her Name Was Steven.” This is my Huffington Post piece on the powerful CNN documentary, "Her Name Was Steven." Just recently my partner and I watched CNN's gripping documentary, "Her Name Was Steven," the story of former Largo, FL city manager Steven Stanton's gender reassignment from male to female and its collateral damage to his marriage and job. For those of you who missed it, the film's power lay in its ability to delve into Stanton's private world, most notably the struggle between her private and public selves and the painful transition from Steven to Susan. It was a tour de force that will -- hopefully --further open the door to the inequities and discrimination faced by transgender people in this country. To read the rest: transgender door 2010-03-22T19:28:58+00:00 http://www.gayandlesbianmanners.com/index.php/site/teabaggers_call_congressman_frank_you_faggot/ http://www.gayandlesbianmanners.com/index.php/site/teabaggers_call_congressman_frank_you_faggot/#When:12:15:13Z In case anyone forgets, the language of hate—unopposed—leads to hate violence. Although the teabaggers erupted in laughter, there’s nothing funny about this at all. In case anyone forgets, the language of hate -- unopposed -- leads to hate violence. Although the teabaggers erupted in laughter, there's nothing funny about this at all. Menacing Josh Marshall | March 20, 2010, 2:42PM Things are getting pretty heated in the Capitol with crowds of anti-Reform/Tea Party activists going through the halls shouting slogans and epithets at Democratic members of Congress. As our Brian Beutler reports, a few moments ago in the Longworth office building, a group swarmed a very calm looking Henry Waxman, as he got on the elevator, with shouts of "Kill the bill!" "You liar! You crook!" Not long before, Rep. Barney Frank got an uglier version of the treatment. Just after Frank rounded a corner to leave the building, an older protestor yelled "Barney, you faggot." The surrounding crowd of protestors then erupted in laughter. At one point, Capitol police officer threatened to throw a group of protestors out of the building but that only seemed to inflame them more; and apparently none were ejected. Note that this was in the Longworth building, not the Capitol building proper. But I'm a bit surprised that this is being allowed to occur anywhere in the Capitol complex. From Brian's description it sounds like menacing. (From TPM Media) 2010-03-21T12:15:13+00:00 http://www.gayandlesbianmanners.com/index.php/site/two_snaps_for_the_today_shows_meredith_viera/ http://www.gayandlesbianmanners.com/index.php/site/two_snaps_for_the_today_shows_meredith_viera/#When:20:11:44Z The Today Show's Meredith Veira apologizing for her unintentionally homophobic comment in a post-Oscar interview.It has not and will never waver "During an interview with the cast of The Hurt Locker on Monday, I turned to actor Anthony Mackie and made a joke about "man hugging" in reference to a hug he and fellow actor Jeremy Renner had shared a few weeks earlier on our air. It was meant to be lighthearted, but some were offended by what they believed to be a homophobic comment. That was never my intent, but that doesn't matter. Words are extremely powerful and should never be chosen lightly, even in a lighthearted moment. I apologize to any and all that I offended. My support of the gay and lesbian community is longstanding and well documented. It has not and will never waver." -- The Today Show's Meredith Veira apologizing for her unintentionally homophobic comment in a post-Oscar interview. 2010-03-11T20:11:44+00:00 http://www.gayandlesbianmanners.com/index.php/site/good_manners_fighting_starvation_haitians_share_portions/ http://www.gayandlesbianmanners.com/index.php/site/good_manners_fighting_starvation_haitians_share_portions/#When:19:12:51Z Maxi Extralien, a twig-thin 10-year-old in a SpongeBob pajama top, ate only a single bean from the heavy plate of food he received recently from a Haitian civic group...PORT-AU-PRINCE, Haiti — Maxi Extralien, a twig-thin 10-year-old in a SpongeBob pajama top, ate only a single bean from the heavy plate of food he received recently from a Haitian civic group. He had to make it last. “My mother has 12 kids but a lot of them died,” he said, covering his meal so he could carry it to his family. “There are six of us now and my mom.” For Maxi and countless others here in Haiti’s pulverized capital, new rules of hunger etiquette are emerging. Stealing food, it is widely known, might get you killed. Children are most likely to return with something to eat, but no matter what is found, or how hungry the forager, everything must be shared. The communal rationing, along with signs all over the city that say “S O S” and “we need food,” suggests that the food crisis here is growing. In a country where malnutrition was common even before the earthquake, the United Nations now estimates that two million Haitians need immediate food assistance. And despite frantic efforts by aid groups, distribution has been limited. As of Saturday, the World Food Program had reached 207,392 people in Port-au-Prince and 113,313 in other areas. Compounding the problem, Haiti’s commercial food supply has been strangled by the earthquake’s damage. Fruits and vegetables from the countryside are still available, but in smaller quantities, at inflated prices. For more, see http://www.nytimes.com/2010/01/26/world/americas/26hunger.html?hp. 2010-01-26T19:12:51+00:00 http://www.gayandlesbianmanners.com/index.php/site/straight_talk_is_my_lesbian_friend_flirting_with_me/ http://www.gayandlesbianmanners.com/index.php/site/straight_talk_is_my_lesbian_friend_flirting_with_me/#When:01:44:51Z Q: My lesbian friend is always coming on to me even though she knows I’m straight. I feel like there’s a lot of tension and I’m not sure what should I tell her.Q: My lesbian friend is always coming on to me even though she knows I’m straight. I feel like there’s a lot of tension and I’m not sure what should I tell her. A: I’m wondering exactly what you mean by “coming on”? Is she touching you inappropriately? Do her eyes lock on yours? There’s plenty of room for miscues and miscommunication in any relationship, and this can be especially so between straights and gays. Sometimes heterosexuals misread acts of friendship or simple neediness as sexual advances when they’re not intended that way. Is that possible in this case? Or, is this simply an unrequited crush? For the rest of the answer, please see: http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/sex/straight-talk-is-my-lesbian-friend-flirting-with-me-568598/ 2010-01-26T01:44:51+00:00 http://www.gayandlesbianmanners.com/index.php/site/good_gay_manners_rhode_island_lawmakers_back_funeral_rights_for_gays/ http://www.gayandlesbianmanners.com/index.php/site/good_gay_manners_rhode_island_lawmakers_back_funeral_rights_for_gays/#When:20:38:44Z Rhode Island lawmakers voted last week to allow gay and lesbian couples the right to plan the funerals of their deceased partners, overriding a veto by the governor...Rhode Island lawmakers voted last week to allow gay and lesbian couples the right to plan the funerals of their deceased partners, overriding a veto by the governor. The override enjoyed support from several Republican lawmakers as it passed 67-3 in the House and 31-3 in the Senate. 2010-01-14T20:38:44+00:00 http://www.gayandlesbianmanners.com/index.php/site/7_great_ways_to_find_a_date_or_mate_in_the_new_year/ http://www.gayandlesbianmanners.com/index.php/site/7_great_ways_to_find_a_date_or_mate_in_the_new_year/#When:12:11:52Z Here are seven smart tips from gay guys about how to put some sexy sparks into the dark days of winter.Perhaps your New Year’s resolution was to find a date or a mate. Great idea, but now what? Here are seven smart tips from gay guys about how to put some sexy sparks into the dark days of winter. With a few of these classic tricks from the man experts, you will no longer be walking (or sleeping) alone by the time spring comes along. · Volunteer: Helping out at a non-profit is time well spent in any case, but you’ll also meet folks with similar interests. Just be sure to get your priorities straight; you’re there first to help others, then to help yourself. · Get a dog: Walk it around your neighborhood or let it run off-leash in a dog park. Dogs are surefire date magnets. If you don’t have one, borrow a friend’s (but be honest that it’s not your pup if someone asks) or foster a dog from your local shelter. · Go online: Dating sites have pretty much perfected the science of matchmaking. Make sure you choose one that is focused on relationships and not just hookups. · Bar hop: People find significant others all the time when they’re out on the town (no drinking required). Men who do all their socializing in bars and clubs aren’t looking for a soul mate, but a brief chat will separate the wheat from the chafe (or the men from the boys, or the dates from the boyfriends). · Use your friends, families, colleagues: Often, there’s no better referral service than the people you already know. · Join a new group, take a new class: Give some thought to hobbies or passions of yours and look around for a class or group in your area. For example, if singing is your thing, go online and browse the local choruses or bands. · Hire a matchmaker: Real-life matchmakers do still exist, and for a handsome fee will bring together eligible singles who are serious enough about their partner search to go professional. · Bottom line: Reach out to new people but also to those who already know you well. Have fun. And be yourself. The gay guys know everything:) _____________________________________________________________________________________ To ask manners expert Steven Petrow a question, write him at queeries@live.com. 2010-01-11T12:11:52+00:00