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Who pays for dinner on a gay date?
Even in 2010, with decades of openly gay dating under our community’s collective belt, I still get confused when the dinner check arrives. What rule of thumb do you go by for what seems like an archaic conundrum but truly is not?
Wasn’t life easier for everyone when the guy just paid for everything? Oh, right, that wouldn’t work for two gay men or two lesbians on a date. That’s why there’s a great rule: "You invite, you pay.” This is especially the case if you’ve chosen the restaurant as well as making the invitation. Also, consider these phrases as code for “I’ll pay”: "Please be my guest"; "It will be my treat"; "I'd like to invite you to join me…" and "Let me take you out to..."

Of course, it's good manners to offer to pay for yourself or contribute toward the tip, even when you know you’re the guest. And it’s wise to be prepared to pay your own way, because you never know. By the way, if your date does pay for you, remember that you're under no obligation to go out again, or to become horizontal.

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Updated 08.31.2010


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