QUEERIES
 Subscribe    Bookmark and Share
How do I introduce my gay friends?
I’m not quite clear when to mention in a social situation that someone is gay. When I’m introducing straight friends to gay or lesbian friends, should I announce it then? And what exactly should I say?
There’s no need to bring up someone's sexuality when you’re making a basic introduction. Present an LGBT friend to others just as you would a straight friend. No secret gay handshake, no winking, no nothing.

Try this, for instance: "Janice, I'd like you to meet my good friend Tom. Tom, this is Janice." It’s neither “my good gay friend, Tom” nor "Tom, who is gay." That’s just too much information too soon.

Mentioning Tom’s sexuality would only make sense if the three of you happen to get into a conversation where the subject fits naturally (and you're sure he’s out). Let’s say you’re chatting about money issues, for instance. You might say, "Janice, Tom is a financial planner. He works at Christopher Street Financial, a gay-owned firm."


Steven Petrow signature


Sign up for “Queeries,” our free e-mail newsletter about coming out, the rules of courtship, planning a same-sex commitment ceremony, bringing baby on board, confronting homophobia, saying good-bye to a dying friend, and much more.
E-MAIL ADDRESS
   


RECENT POSTS
RECENT QUEERIES
ASK STEVEN
Got a gay manners question? Ask the expert right here, right now.
E-MAIL YOUR QUESTION



 



 


Updated 08.31.2010


How do I handle a one-night stand?

Q: Here’s the deal: While I was on vacation this summer, I met this guy on the beach. That night, we bumped into each other at…
Updated 09.02.2010

Q: Too chicken to tell my ex about my STD

I need to tell my ex that I contracted a venereal disease and that I may have passed it on to her, but I can’t bear the idea of talking to her. Is it rude to just…
How did it go the first time you had gay sex?
How did it go the first time you had gay sex?