QUEERIES
Help for drunken groping?
Not too long ago my girlfriend and I went to a posh dinner party hosted by my best friend Georgia, also a lesbian, who – truth be told – has a problem with alcohol. Late in the evening, flush with excitement (and wine), Georgia put her hand up my girlfriend’s skirt. GF made a big scene and insisted we leave. We’re both furious, but what should we do?
Well, what are you furious about most? That your best friend can’t control her impulses? That she accosted your girlfriend publicly? What about that your girlfriend might think you didn’t stand up for her?
It’s easiest to wag your finger at Georgia: She violated your girlfriend’s body and your trust (and may well be an alcoholic). I’d suggest either calling or making a coffee date (not a drink date) and telling her how you feel about what happened that night. I also suggest doing a little asking and listening, however. While I can understand that you’re furious, it sounds like Georgia may need more help than you need retribution. And isn’t that what best friends are for?
As for your girlfriend, she has good reason to be mad at both you and Georgia. Why was it left to her to make the move to leave? I’m sorry to say, but that was really your job and you let her down. Take the initiative and say two of the most difficult words in the English language: “I’m sorry.”
It’s easiest to wag your finger at Georgia: She violated your girlfriend’s body and your trust (and may well be an alcoholic). I’d suggest either calling or making a coffee date (not a drink date) and telling her how you feel about what happened that night. I also suggest doing a little asking and listening, however. While I can understand that you’re furious, it sounds like Georgia may need more help than you need retribution. And isn’t that what best friends are for?
As for your girlfriend, she has good reason to be mad at both you and Georgia. Why was it left to her to make the move to leave? I’m sorry to say, but that was really your job and you let her down. Take the initiative and say two of the most difficult words in the English language: “I’m sorry.”
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Can we charge our friends to come to our wedding shower?
Is it cool to come out on Facebook?
What about a gay pride “dress code”?
Why does my sister ask her girlfriend for help with medical decisions, instead of me?
Who pays for dinner on a gay date?
“Will you be my domestic partner?”
Can I break up with my boyfriend by text?
How to address mail to lesbian and gay couples?
Don’t kids who have two dads feel left out of Mother’s Day?
Wasn’t that a one-night stand?
New lesbian on the job?
What to do about uninvited kids at a gay party?
When to tell your date "I'm transgender"?
Is it ever okay for straight people to use slang like queer, dyke or queen?
Are seating arrangements different for same-sex couples?
How do I introduce my gay friends?
My husband’s gay—what should I say?
Is my lesbian friend flirting with me?
How to treat my lesbian daughter-in-law?
What’s up with speed dating?
Why does this guy at my office show off so many things that scream “gay”?
Can kids grow up “normal” in a gay home?
Are older gay men “cougars” or “daddies?”
When a straight guy asks a lesbian out?
Help for Valentine’s Day?
Help for drunken groping?
How to live with a closet case?
How to convince mom we won’t have sex in front of the kids?
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Updated 07.29.2010
Check out the column I posted on LOGO's 365gay.com about navigating this classic LGBT summertime money drama...and let me know your take!
Updated 07.29.2010
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