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No matter how much of a jerk or liar he may be, you owe it to him and to yourself to actually have a break-up conversation. Sure, it seems easier to dash off a snarky email or a snippy one-sentence text without looking him in the face. And indeed, breaking up by text, IM or even with a one-click relationship “status update” on Facebook is more and more prevalent. One recent study found that one in seven of us had been dumped by email or text. The truth is that getting the last word is not as important as trying to understand better what happened so that you can both find closure.

But before you do anything, I wonder whether you’ve made the mistake of equating a boyfriend with having a monogamous boyfriend. Until the two of you explicitly make that decision, don’t assume that he is.  Sometimes they go hand in hand; other times not.  Reach out to your guy and tell him you need to talk. You may be surprised what you find out. Even if nothing new comes of such a talk, at least by being clear and direct, you’re less likely to have regrets later on about breaking up with him.