QUEERIES
Are older gay men “cougars” or “daddies?”
I’m in my mid-40s and have started dating a guy who is about 20 years younger than me. While it’s practically trendy these days for cougars (older women) to be pursuing younger straight men, I’m getting a lot of flack from my friends that my boyfriend’s not “age-appropriate” for me. What is most insulting is how my friends dismiss him in social situations as a “kid” (even though he’s a Fulbright Scholar) and me as a “daddy,” which he doesn't need or want and which is a role I would never play. They also just assume that I’ve pursued him and that I’m “robbing the cradle.” That’s actually not the case. He came after me. I’m frustrated and need to know how to handle all these raised eyebrows and sharp words.

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Updated 07.29.2010


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