STRAIGHT TALK
Is it ever okay for straight people to use slang like queer, dyke or queen?
My gay friends use a lot of slang, like "faggot" and "dyke" to refer to each other. In a friendly way, of course, and I guess it's meant to be kind of ironic -- or an inside joke. I spend a lot of time with these friends and have come close to using those words, too, because it seems so natural. So far I've always stopped myself. But I'm wondering if things have changed enough in the world that straight people like me can use language like that, too. Of course, I mean in a playful way -- not a hateful one.
No, no matter how LGBT-friendly you are -- or how many of your best friends are gay -- you're better off avoiding those terms. "Dyke" and "fag" are on the short list of words that many gay men and lesbians are reclaiming -- hateful vocabulary that we're making our own. You'll also hear "queer" used by some LGBT people in the same vein, while other gay people abhor its use.
Because these words are still extremely offensive when used as epithets, however, they just don't work out of a straight person's mouth. The line is simply too fine between using that kind of language in jest and advocating hatred against your LGBT friends. You may or may not be away of this, but much of the violence against lesbians and gays starts with homophobic words and taunts.
If you do decide to try out LGBT slang yourself, the truth is that you'll likely end up offending even friends who use it themselves. Either way, though, if you continue to grapple with this issue, I suggest raising it with some of your LGBT friends. Ask something like, "Do you think it's okay for me to use words like that?" Who better to tell you the truth than people you trust?
Because these words are still extremely offensive when used as epithets, however, they just don't work out of a straight person's mouth. The line is simply too fine between using that kind of language in jest and advocating hatred against your LGBT friends. You may or may not be away of this, but much of the violence against lesbians and gays starts with homophobic words and taunts.
If you do decide to try out LGBT slang yourself, the truth is that you'll likely end up offending even friends who use it themselves. Either way, though, if you continue to grapple with this issue, I suggest raising it with some of your LGBT friends. Ask something like, "Do you think it's okay for me to use words like that?" Who better to tell you the truth than people you trust?
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Is it ever okay for straight people to use slang like queer, dyke or queen?
Are seating arrangements different for same-sex couples?
How do I introduce my gay friends?
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Do gay people need their own vacation spots?
Why does my sister ask her girlfriend for help with medical decisions, instead of me?
How to address mail to lesbian and gay couples?
Don’t kids who have two dads feel left out of Mother’s Day?
Is it ever okay for straight people to use slang like queer, dyke or queen?
Are seating arrangements different for same-sex couples?
How do I introduce my gay friends?
My husband’s gay—what should I say?
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