Straight Talk
Why does my sister ask her girlfriend for help with medical decisions, instead of me?
Q: My lesbian sister is fighting breast cancer and trying to decide what kind of treatments are right for her. I feel very cut off from this process because she takes her longtime girlfriend’s advice and opinions more seriously than mine. I’m her older brother and used to being leaned on. Don’t I have the right to ask my sister to listen to me instead?
How to address mail to lesbian and gay couples?
Q: I’m planning a summer party and intending to send out real invitations to a mix of gay and straight friends. But the gay couples I know seem to have a range of different kinds of relationships and I’m not sure how to address these couples. What do I need to know when the invitation is going to a gay couple?
Don’t kids who have two dads feel left out of Mother’s Day?
Q: I live next door to a two-dad family, and with Mother’s Day coming up I’ve been wondering what that means for them. Don’t their kids feel left out since they don’t have a mom? And how do the dads feel? I’m wondering if there’s something I can do to help them celebrate the holiday?
Is it ever okay for straight people to use slang like queer, dyke or queen?
Q: My gay friends use a lot of slang, like "faggot" and "dyke" to refer to each other. In a friendly way, of course, and I guess it's meant to be kind of ironic -- or an inside joke. I spend a lot of time with these friends and have come close to using those words, too, because it seems so natural. So far I've always stopped myself. But I'm wondering if things have changed enough in the world that straight people like me can use language like that, too. Of course, I mean in a playful way -- not a hateful one.
Are seating arrangements different for same-sex couples?
Q: I’m having a big dinner party and not sure quite how to seat the gay couples. I’m used to alternating genders but don’t want to make anyone uncomfortable.
How do I introduce my gay friends?
Q: I’m not quite clear when to mention in a social situation that someone is gay. When I’m introducing straight friends to gay or lesbian friends, should I announce it then? And what exactly should I say?
My husband’s gay—what should I say?
Q: My husband of many years has just dropped the bomb that he’s attracted to men. I’m a mess but sort of frozen in my tracks. What should I do? What should I say?
Is my lesbian friend flirting with me?
Q: My lesbian friend is always coming on to me even though she knows I’m straight. I feel like there’s a lot of tension and I’m not sure what should I tell her.
How to treat my lesbian daughter-in-law?
Q: Even though my lesbian daughter can’t marry her girlfriend, Lisa, because it’s not legal in our state, should I treat Lisa as I do my other sons- and daughters-in-law?
Why does this guy at my office show off so many things that scream “gay”?
Q: Why does my co-worker in the cubicle next to mine have to display so many things that say “gay”? He’s got a gay rainbow flag, several photos of himself and his partner, and even a poster from the movie “Milk.” It’s a gay-friendly office, so I’m not sure why he has to be so “loud” about it.
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Updated 07.29.2010


How to divide the booze bill for summer shares?

Check out the column I posted on LOGO's 365gay.com about navigating this classic LGBT summertime money drama...and let me know your take!

Updated 07.29.2010

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My partner and I have been living together for a couple of months now and I suddenly realized that she’s going through my personal papers and reading my email. I actually don’t have anything to hide, but…
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